Deceiving

I've decided I no longer care about the number on the scale. This semester has been busy and stressful, leading me to eat more junk than I normally would and work out far less. Actually, I've only worked out twice this semester. I'm not feeling healthy at all, and it's reflected in my attitude toward myself and dieting.

But this weekend when I was home, I stepped on the scale. I've lost 5 pounds since Jan. 1.

I realized then and there that the number no longer matters to me. Yes, I'm five pounds less, but I do not feel healthy. I don't feel good about the "weight-loss" because it wasn't done in the right manner.

A friend and I were talking tonight about how working out doesn't even have to yeild results on the scale. What matters is how you feel about it. Looking back on times when I felt healthy and really felt like I was on the path to leading a healthy lifestyle, I felt wonderful. I didn't necessarily care if the scale budged. I just felt good knowing that I was working out consistently and taking my health seriously.

My hope is that this will serve as a wake-up call for me. I want to feel healthy again. I want to go back to having my calendar filled with stickers (I put a sticker on each day that I workout, which motivates me to keep working out consistently). Mostly, though, I want to feel pride in stepping on the scale, knowing that I lost weight the right way. It's not about a number for me anymore. It's about feeling and being healthy. That's what counts.